Bah-Humbug - the uncelebration of what's wrong with Christmas (VG Lee & Rose Collis)

When: Sunday 15 December 2013
Where: The Hideaway, Streatham
Tickets: From £12.50 in aid of Kid's City 

Tucked away behind Streatham High Street, it really is hidden away, The Hideaway. Atmospherically full of  jazz history, but surprisingly modern, the bar was set up with drinks and canapes, and treats for sale.

This special event was MCed by Jackie Nunn, CEO of Kid's City and producer of the event.

Rose Collis opened with her banjo and stories of gender bending christmases past, with plenty of dramatic dyke-ness in a style not unlike that of "grumpy old women" but more interesting and funnier. For example, did you know that christmas cards were invented by the man who invented the stamp. Capitalism at its best. And over 1.8bn cards are send each year in the UK. 

Then enter VG Lee best dressed in dressing gown, pyjamas, rollers and stroking her (soft toy) pussy. She says it's "therapeutic". 

After a short intro about the benefits of Lemsip Max as an aperitif, and the hilarious scene setting of VG in her living the night before Christmas, and all that is stirring is a log fire as she reads horror stories. At this point we are treated to one of the stories, on of VG's own, and not a horror in the traditional sense of the word but frightening (and humorous) nonetheless.

Followed a question and answer session with Rose, compered by VG, we learned that Rose's special pickled onions are strong indeed but that we are not going to be party to the secret ingredient. We learned that Rose has new books and new shows coming out in the new year.  The Trouser Wearing character will live on.

In Act 2, there is a costume change from VG to going out evening wear, and we learn that to get through the festive season she volunteers at a cat sanctuary every year. Cue plenty of pussy jokes. 

Back to Rose and more Christmas histories, the original celebrity cook books, the beaver annual, and coincidences.

And finally a stand up set, double bill of VG Lee short stories read by guest reader Claire Summerskill, and a careful warning to wash hands if using deep heat for sensuous massage. 

The end is on a grand finale, a rousing modified version of We wish it could be Christmas everyday" a la banjo.